Dear DAD Dec 14th


So i cried all the way today , as soon as the time comes when i used to call you my tears come up  and i cannot stop. I miss you and there is no one to talk to about you I miss telling you things that happened at work so i thought why not write a letter to you in my blog.

Today i bought toys for the underprivelegedchildren i sponsor each year, this year it was a small boy age 2 who wanted a bike and a winter coat. so i went to the store today and bought a harley davidson bike and a blue coat, then i thought why not buy the boy a toy, his name is joshua and i bought him a truck that played music each time you pressed the driver. i was thinking of buying the alphabet blocks but thought which child wants to see alphabets at christmas , i paid for them and almost called you from the store but remembered that you are not there, it was raining in ohio and it is getting dark quickly. the christmas lights are out i still have adam to buy for and will try to do that in windsor when i go

I miss you  I went to see the doctor today as i am severely depressed , he asked me how come i have no support you know being indian and all that , i said that well mysteriously all my friends are not available , remember i used to talk to my friends each day well now no one is available  My friends have deserted me , i am all alone my heart is breaking each day ,no one calls me or returns my calls or is available so then i stopped, i stopped calling and i stopped writing emails. all i do there days is wake up in the middle of the night and cry , i never thought that my so called friends would be so callous but apparently i am not worth the price of a phone call these days

so i cry each time at the time i used to call you , i cry because i miss you and then i cry because i remember what was written about me in the will  how could not know that in 98 what state i was i was in. i do not mind the money but how could you leave me with such cruel words so what was the truth , what you told me in september or what you left in the will , i know i disappointed you by my decisions in life and i am sorry , please forgive me , since you have been gone my heart has been ripped in a million pieces by friends i helped who now have left me alone to cry and die , there is no one to dry my tears or ask me how am i doing , like i said dad everyone is not available too busy with their life

nothing exciting happened in the news. talked to ryan , he is having exams , yes more exams , he will be done friday, i hope where you are you are happy more later
i love you dad and i am miss  you

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