When you know what you want,and you want it badly enough, you’ll find a way to get it….dreams on my blog

I do not know what I want in my life, well I flip flop so many times from being a lawyer (well dropped out silly girl) to being an actress but at least I try. I try out for theatre groups on and off and sometimes I would get a part and then sometimes nothing .at least when I worked in Michigan I used to get small roles in plays but I also tried harder anyway maybe I will still go to LA and live out my dream , try out for the apprentice and if lose enough weight the amazing race

And that is what dream is, it keeps you alive. I find it so ridiculous that when someone tells me that they have no dream, dream as if you will live forever and live as if you will die today.

I guess it is a cultural thing.My experience has shown that most people dream of being a doctor, marry a doctor or have their kids be a doctor. I always hear that oh that person is a doctor they are so cool, my question is sure they are cool and make tons of money but do they not hurt, or is it because they are doctors they are immune to hurt, do they not have feelings, I dated a doctor once he was such a loser, here is where the cultural differences come up, more background on my doctor boyfriend John

He was tall 6ft 2” brown hair and green eyes , funny at times and not so funny at times ,we dated for about a year and then it was over, I got a call from him some time ago and he is like why did you never call me , I am like I use the approach of threes I will email and call you three times and then I assume you have been kidnapped by aliens and how am I going to reach you when you are kidnapped by aliens I do not know where aliens live, that is the self esteem dating and not the pathetic dating I do rule of threes

My son just does one call and he is done. So far my ex is still single, the type of girl he wants is not going to put up with his crap

Kidnapped by aliens is always an excuse or go with the approach that my friend Melissa does. She dated a guy for 6 months and then he never called her back. She kept on calling and driving by his house nothing and then found out he was dead, so now if she assumes if she does not hear from a guy he is dead so it is either kidnapped by aliens or dead.

I use the same philosophy on finding a job. If I do not hear back I use three attempts and then I move on. You know kidnapped by aliens and all that

Being nice to someone does not being pathetic but how often it is mistaken for that

I dreamed a thousand dreams and … I woke up and walked my old one

So what is my dream these days

It is never too late to be what you might have been. I do not ask myself what the world needs; I ask myself what makes you me alive. And then go and do that.

Because what the world needs are people who are alive. How boring is it to hate the life you are living each and every day.

I see so many people stuck in bad relationships for oh my god it is duty and all that , you know no one cares , at the end of the day they go on and you are alone with your issues , when I was having issues with my charming husband and getting beaten and blue each evening at what point did anyone help me , my uncle came down from Toronto and said oh it is your life , do not embarrass your parents by a divorce , and he was looking a woman with broken ribs, broken arm and black eyes and the advice was do not embarrass my parents , well I did , I asked my husband what could I do not to be beaten and he responded that I was simply not good enough and kicked me out of the house in the middle of winter , so I wrapped my son in a garbage bag for we had no winter clothes , hailed a cop car and said hey I need help and went to live in a shelter. I know my husband did me a favor by being a jerk, so I embarrassed my parents and filed for divorce and moved on. then the Indian people tried to embarrass me when I told them that I was on welfare and I think I collected maybe 12000 in welfare and have paid much more in taxes when I became an engineer, but what was my dream then, buy a car and a home.

There are even Indians in Windsor who still ask me if I am on welfare and I say sure why not , they are just jealous I have accomplished equal or better by being a single parent on welfare, when they are two working people , also note how many jobs I have lost but that is neither here or there , I have lost more jobs than anyone I know and have worked hard to find another one so unemployment does not faze me , it is being dumped and that is all to it , I will get over it .

Or Indians who tell me that they cannot invite me because I am single or now try to make me feel ashamed that I am divorced why you fools should admire me because I stood up to abuse and walked or limped away rather than make me feel sorry for myself, why because I chose to tell that he is dead, well it is true I nor my son has heard from him in at least 7 years so that is considered legally dead.

What I believe is that No matter where you are in life right now, no matter who you are, no matter how old you are – it is never too late to be who you are meant to be I am not afraid of the space between my dreams and reality. If I can dream it, I can make it so

I have got my dreams and I have to protect then , People can’t do something themselves, so they want to tell you that you can’t do it. If you want something, go get it. Period. I am not going to have my problems push me but let my dreams lead me to my next great adventure.

Every time my heart breaks I think that I cannot control what happens to me , but I can control my attitude toward what happens to me, and in that, I will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master me . I am not going to put off living to next week, next month, next year or next decade. The only time I am ever living is in this moment. Now what is my dream now?

First of all leave this horrible area. The other day I was told that I and my son were ashamed that we were Indians, Ok the first thing people look at me they see an Indian , believe me I live in a racist area so I know what it means to be different. I have lived most of my adult life in north America and just because I chose to like country music over Hindi music, like Thai food over Indian food, date Caucasian men over Indian men (who by the way do not date), and like theatre over Indian movies or any movies does not mean I am ashamed to be Indian, it is just that my tastes have changed. I did date an Indian man in North America he was an electrical engineer and asked me that I had to make a choice it was either him or my son as his family could not accept a woman with a child. So I guess the boy is still here so I made the choice. But so many times I was told by Indian people to leave my son in a foster home and take off and I said no, how can you leave a child dependent on you and take off, you screw up the child forever. That guy went and married a woman in India and we wish him all the best.

Now the fact that I said do it now I am not going to implement that till I get almost two years so I get enough medical device experience and leave.

To create more positive results in your life, replace ‘if only’ with ‘next time My dad tells me to stick with it as it is a job well dad, if what I am doing is not my passion then what am I am losing, my time, my son is not my passion, he was my responsibility and now it is time to live for myself.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

My dream is to leave this area and find a job that makes me feel alive and is my passion that I feel that I am making a difference and maybe fall in love again My life is a gift so why forget to enjoy and bask in every moment I live in. If wrinkles are to be written on my brow let them not be written upon the heart

I am making my life a mission in finding love not an intermission for like I stated

When you know what you want, and you want it badly enough, you’ll find a way to get it.

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