Hot in cleveland

It is very hot in Cleveland, for me it is hot and hot, but the air conditioning is so high so I am cold inside and hot outside. I on the other hand feel more cold as I am very anemic , another week for transfusion but that is life , another day , another transfusion, thank god I am not married or my husband would have probably divorced me for all the dumb health issues I have , they are unique. Who had heard of someone getting regular transfusions, well that is me

Maybe that is why I am single, no one wants to marry me due to my health issues, kind of sucks but hey wait I pay my own health insurance. SAD and LOL


Anyway my son tells me that my car in Canada is having issues so got to spend money on fixing the car, I cannot buy a new one for my son thanks to his two speeding tickets which raises his insurance very high and he does not pay his insurance I do, I pay 400 dollars a month for a ten year old car, with me having no tickets or accident, reason being my son is under 25 and has two speeding tickets. I am going to box his ears when I go to Canada next week for his selfish computer behavior and I will get my friend and his old baby sitter ms Darlene to join forces to box his ears, by boxing his ears I mean I am going to give him a chance to defend himself, will be interesting, A background on Ms Darlene, she is my friend and my son’s babysitter and when I have an issue in Canada I call on her. We hang out together when I am in Canada and when I was a student she picked up my son all the time from daycare so she is like a second mother to him and a family member, for many years she was my next of kin in Canada, Yes I paid her for doing all that .for example on that day in September ms Darlene was the one who picked up my son from school and kept him till the borders opened. So that is why on the drive to the dentist on Friday July 1s ms Darlene and I are going to box his ears ( box his ears is a Canadian phrase for having him defend and explain himself)  only parents will forgive kids for their selfish behavior because that is what parents do, Darlene has been around for many years and she knows my son, I remember one time when my son was suspended from school for jumping , I had Darlene watch him and to teach him a lesson she made him work in her garden, he never jumped again though he did do other  dumb stuff that got him suspended , in Windsor in French immersion  a child can get suspended for talking in class, running in corridors or not  sharing , that is why our schools have no discipline problems, maybe that I why I ended up in law school just to defend my son’s  suspensions. It is so great to have perfect children with perfect grades but then the excitement is gone, I rather have my son with his imperfections than a perfect child with perfect grades, keeps my life interesting


I remember there was an Indian student in his high school whose parents were   always  telling me  Priscilla is so sad and crying  because she got 97 instead of 100 ,I am like we are just celebrating my son passing  and I did not get a call from his school about his homework or behavior , yet Priscilla did not become valecdorian or prom queen/king , guess who did and yet when both of them are in engineering  So on parent teacher conferences Priscilla parents would hear oh your daughter is so awesome in school and the dhiman family had to just agree yup my son sucks in school but hey he got admission too in engineering with a scholarship so what is the lesson, the lesson is that scholarships are based on overall performance and when you are a kick ass athlete  that takes prevalence. Question why marks are so important to Indian people, do not know I guess it means success but often it does not and it is the one who plays the game who wins at the end of the day and my son knows how to play the game


My class fellow in Toronto is not happy with me, well he figured I would just randomly drive to Toronto each time I have a holiday I do not think so. I travel daily to Erie PA and then often I go to buffalo so it is a long drive for me and more so when I am on a plane, so no I am not driving to Toronto, I am lucky that I drive to Detroit to see my son and hang out with my friends So I told ameen I am sorry I am not coming I do not even have time to buy a car much less plan elaborate trips to Toronto each weekend. I guess he wanted to introduce me to some potential men (wow could it be love com arranged, HAHA) who are single but I told him you can give them my number and we can talk but these are Indian men and most of them have the same questions

1.    Oh we cannot marry someone who had kids, fool my son is 22 and by the way I earn more than you , you know why because in the us engineers make way more than Canada

2.    Oh we cannot marry someone with health issues , fool  I have my own health insurance

3.    But why marry , why not date , I have never understood that , how can you marry someone without knowing how they are , well in Indian culture one gets married and is stuck , you know duty and all that but maybe I am too westernized where I rather have my heart involved and just get married. I really do not need to marry for financial security I make a lot of money when I am working ( go to add that disclaimer ) but rather for companionship, how do you know the person you marry likes what you like , for example I like to talk and do goofy things like drive 40 miles to get a cup of coffee when I get one at home, a person who is love with you will enjoy those things but like my sister said  I have an idealistic view of marriage so what is wrong in being idealistic, why be Debbie downer all the time


I still do not know why I have not invested in a car, the cleaning crew is now embarrassed that I do not drive, well most of the time I drive a company car or I take laketran , I still need a car I guess when you have been on 150 interviews in 2010 you think twice about tying yourself to a lease a car payment, there was a time I would ask every company to sponsor my green card and to be fair to them some did but these days I cannot wait to run back to Canada/Michigan  because I miss the friendly people and I miss my life . I guess it is hard for me being alone over here in and Indian people are not very friendly to a single woman and will go out of their way to isolate you but even faced with that kind of treatment will I get married to the first man who asks , no if  I am not in love with him I wish people would stop telling me  who to have feelings for , feelings evolve over the years, sometimes they become deeper or change but they never go away ,time also helps you to understand the past and learn from it .This is how I look on my life , I know how to raise a selfish  child by myself , I know to be financially secure, I know how to value myself , the other day somebody told me that he did not like controlling women, I asked him for an example and he could not provide one so how could he make a bold statement that he did not like controlling women when he did not even know what is the definition of a controlling woman


My cousin married a man and her mother could not even  tell me what he did or where he lived, red flags, how clueless have you to be when you do not even know what the son in law does or where he lives. I would be very skeptical of that whole thing but then I see it from a person who was married to a shady person, anytime a person shows you smoke and mirrors that is a red flag I can see her mother’s point, the girl was forty and they were desperate to marry her off and we wish her good luck. If  I ever decided to marry  someone who when asked what he did or where he lived could not supply the answer my son would come down from Canada and have a little discussion with me on the stupidity of my behavior but hey let us give the happy couple congratulations and move on. When I got married my parents told me that my uncle had checked him and he was an engineer and was so nice, on asking my uncle after being beaten black and blue with cracked ribs and broken arm, from the hospital bed, my uncle who had theoretically checked him out told me hey all your dad asked was does the boy live in Canada, I said yes, I never told him that he was an engineer or was a nice person. For the record the man I was married to was 50 and I was in my twenties, he had a criminal record of domestic violence from another woman, he was matric fail and I was Mphil so a five minute invested would have me a lot of trouble of having 24 stitches on my head, court cases, and broken bones but to each his own. People always ask me why I never got married well  it has to be a special person to put the ring on my finger not just everybody.

The best thing I did was find God and forgive him and move on, and yet when you try giving people benefit of your knowledge they do not want to listen but that is not my problem.


At the end of the day you have to thank God for unanswered prayers for living a life of faith will guide you to salvation

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