My coworker told me today that his wife told him yesterday that she was leaving him. I was shocked (see at the end why) I said why, he said well she said she was bored and just did not want to be married any longer. Too many things , he spent too much time at work , kids grown up , she told him that he was just boring , he told me that her exact words were , you know I am 56 and I need to live my life., I only have one life and I want to be happy. She does have a job I asked him how are you doing , he said he was blindsided, he knew that their marriage was passive, by that I mean they were married , did all things as a couple , raised kids, had a house with two kids, well the perfect marriage. They filed taxes as a couple and he was shocked because he thought they would be married forever, he bought here valentine day gifts, attended parent teacher conference and yet she left him
I asked him if there was another man in the picture, he said no there could not be, she was a faithful woman asked him how was his wife behavior, he said she was great, did all the cooking, cleaning, I asked him did she laugh, he could not remember when she laughed last, could not remember when she did her hair or wore perfume, I told him you moron she has been depressed for so many years you just did not see it.
She lived with you as a robot, did all things but with no feeling,
Depression is such a hard thing to see. No one wants to admit they are depressed. My son made me face depression three years ago and said that mom either you seek professional help or I am leaving you as you bring me down. This is what depression does to you, you do not care if you are alive or dead, you just want to die, and you stop taking care of yourself. You get fat in my case and stop living, you go through motions of life, you pay bills, you sleep but the spark is missing in life. My son had a mother who was always gloomy, I ended all the statements with what is the use, it was always what is the use, no desire to meet anyone or date anyone , messy hair , messy clothes, always looking for gloom and doom in everything, till one day my son had enough and he said mom this is it , you are depressed, I asked him what do you mean depressed I have a good job, great home , what do I have to be depressed about I have an awesome son, and my son said no you are so depressed you do not even know you are depressed , I had pain in my whole body but refused to accept the depression. I thought oh Indian people do not get depressed, that is my idiotic thinking, I went from 150 to 250 lbs, no care, my son always worried that I would kill myself and made me promise that I will never kill myself, that is a hard burden for a child to bear that his mother is so loony that he has to worry.
The doctor said you are depressed I am not depressed I have nothing to be depressed out. My son said mom the fact that you cry all the time the fact that you do not want to date anyone, do not laugh or smile , are never happy or feel happy and roam around with dull dead eyes you are depressed. He tried to get me to go to a psychiatrist, got me to take anti depressants even tried to get me committed and then the final straw that he was just leaving me do you think that did the trick no of course not a depressed person does not care, they expect gloom and doom here he is threatening to leave and I am planning to just die of whatever was the disease in my life. Depressed people like me will always find gloom as an enabler , food as a friend and a prayer of death as a release from the burden of life, every thing like getting up in the morning is a challenge, every thing is a failure
Then God finally had enough. He stepped in and I got a phone call from an extraordinary person, all of the sudden the gloom in my heart started lifting, I went from seeing things in black to seeing things in red and blue, a whole rainbow of color, I started losing weight, started thinking of my life in positive, I started laughing again and started smiling. My son can see the difference as none of my sentences bring or end with what is the use the biggest change was that I started smiling and all of sudden I am the girl back in 1996, it may be 2010 but in my mind I am back in the nineties, those were happier times but the point of all this is that I am not depressed, no more anti depressants, no more gloom and doom , no more thoughts of death, I am more positive , looking to meet someone No more body aches , ok before we all try to spin a you have got mail type of ending there is no future with the extraordinary person though the heart can hope
Getting to the story, his wife was severely depressed, he never noticed, he had a wife, to everyone they were a happy couple, married, did all the things together, raised kids but she was never there mentally just physically till one day she got up and said you k now I am 56 I want to be happy, she wanted the spark in her life, she wanted to feel alive and not walk through her life asleep, Why stay with someone if you are unhappy, The surprise is that we are talking about an Indian couple who stay married for ever because it is tradition, sometimes a person has to decide , we all live once and make it worthwhile