Why i miss not staying young


I have no idea where my twenties vanished and then my thirties. All I know is that one day I was the mother of a little one running around getting him to daycare and next step I was talking to a 21 year old man who told me in no uncertain terms that he was getting  a tattoo and because he was 21 there was nothing I could do about it OK. I miss my little boy every day and not the 21 year tattooed son. I miss my little boy who thought I was the best mummy in the world, who believed in santa claus , who believed me when I told him that he had to be good or he would get no presents, today if I tell him that  if he is not good he will easily tell me well mom I can buy it myself

The hard part of growing old is that your children grow up and then they become allergic to hugs , want to go out at all hours but that is life.  I miss my little  boy who would run up to the elevator when I came home after my engineering classes and dig through my pockets for candy ( the five cent candy) with his babysitter in tow, give me hugs , be my little Velcro baby and always ask me to carry him everywhere. Those days it was a big treat for him when I would bring home hot chocolate and sprinkled donut , and he would jump up and down with joy because it was such a great treat for him. I could bring the little one little stars from the dollar store and he would spend hours just pasting them on to everything.  I have spent hours watching the slinky roll down steps , hours playing tic tac toe and then of hours playing pokeman.  There were days my little boy would wake up in the morning , run into my room and  at 5 am start singing , wake up mama, it is morning , or those days I would chase my little boy all over the house playing catch with him , arm wrestling with him , play sword fight with him and of course I always had to lose ,that is what mummies do, or kiss his little boo  boos when they hurt , wipe his tears when he cried, hold him up while he made a basket and above all take him shopping for nail polish and make up for me,

Then the little boy grew up and this is how I realized it, I came home from work and brought  him a sprinkled donut and hot chocolate and he turned around and said why are you always bringing me that Soon the hugs vanished and the final straw was no belief in santa claus, that is when you know your child is an adult and not a little boy and I miss my little boy

Today he is a young man with a life of his own. No longer does he need his mom to bury him candy or take him to the doctor . The young man is now a person in his own right who makes his own decisions, now has the right to see if he wants a flu shot or get a physical, he lets it be understood that he does need him mother but that is life.

So it is not that I mind getting old, I mind that my little boy grew up fast  and that is what I miss

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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