There are some very smart women who make very interesting decisions
Lesson 1: Supporting a man financially, ok no problem in supporting a man financially, look up the Betty Broderick case, she slaved to put her husband through medical school and law school and then as soon as he got his degree he told her that he wanted a younger model and left her , so I leave that up to you. My friend in CT is a social worker and the father of her child is a musician , does not have a job, will not get one and she supports him , every Saturday when she alls me to tell me her problems I always ask her what is it that you are asking, she wants to marry him but yet when she asks him to discuss their situation he gets up and walks away , the lesson is that he does not want to answer the question that she is asking , she is asking him for a commitment, they live together , have a child together but yet when she asks him for some commitment he walks away. I am sure he is well aware that she pays the bills and will continue to do so, she is a pHd and he is high school and they have a 10 year old child together and they have been living together on her income., she takes jobs that underpay her just so that they can stay in the same town as he has gigs there. I lived in CT and never saw him with any gigs.
Lesson 2: Date and then marry the person not the profession. Date someone you can get along with for longer than 1 hour, you can share the same interests but learn to keep your identity. In the last two weeks I went out with a neurologist on three dates , very nice man but boring , he was very dejected when I told him listen you are a very nice guy but seriously you bore me to death. The reason I mentioned the profession is because women like to have a security blanket and neurologists make a lot of money but he was so boring so I have to let him go. I am at that point in my life where I want to be with someone who I can spend time with and not bore myself to death, no matter what the dollar amount you bring to the table.
Lesson 3: Evaluate the actions and not the words. Words are cheap but actions are hard. Like the my favourite character said in the Good Wife romance is easy it is the parent teacher conferences that are hard. Most of us women buy into the romantic crap, oh he tells me he loves me , ok what has he done to show you he cares , I can sit here and tell someone I love them and care for them but if I cannot pick up the phone and call or write a quick note then obviously I do not care at all. Like I said words are cheap actions are hard.
Lesson 4: A smart woman who stays with a man who will never marry her Listen ladies when a man tells you that he does not want to get married he is saying that he is not going to marry you, does not matter the reason or the rhyme, he is not marrying you, time and time again I hear women tell me oh I stayed with a man for 10 years and he never married me but took off to marry someone within a month. My friend in Windsor dated a man for 12 years and yet when they broke up for a month , he married a woman less than a month. Lesson , if a man tells you that he does not want to marry you after one year well then tell him see you later and move on , there are more and better looking men
Lesson 5 : if a man dumps you , stop obessing over it , get over it , it is not a romeo Juliet story , no man is worth killing yourself over, we all fall in love and we all fall out of love, everyone makes their bed and lies on it. Yes we all want the fairy tale but if it does not happen it did not happen for a reason. Yes the guy you fell inlove with you will always have feelings for him but that is as far as it goes. There is no hope there because if there was then he or she would not be an ex now would they, time heals all wounds and changes hearts
Lesson 5: Staying with a man who is abusive, now why would you stay in that relationship. What is so great in that relationship that you need to stay with him, I have maintained that it takes two to play games and yet when one stops playing the game ends Yes I ask that question is because I have been there and seen the dark side. Educated women get abused, women with jobs get abused , women without jobs get abused, basically bullies need a weak person and that is all they need, I have nothing to add save that if you are with an abusive man nothing will ever change for him unless he wants to and that is the sad part that bullies always find victims to torture
Lesson 6: Never get hooked on to a married man. Relationship with a married man is like a chocolate bar that is going to bring you pain in the long range I am a single woman and I have heard it all for example
- My wife does not understand me : and you think I do , where are your divorce papers
- My wife and I lead separate lives: ok where are your divorce papers
- I am only with my wife as my children as small as soon as they are big I will leave: really I raised my son by myself so can your wife, where are your divorce papers
- My wife and I are not intimate: ok where are your divorce papers
- My wife and I are just friends: ok where are your divorce papers
- My wife is not like you , she is not as all together as you, ok where are your divorce papers
- My wife and I are separated : listen buddy you are still married so where are your divorce papers
Married men who have a roving eye never leave their wives not because they love their wives , believe if you love your wife you will not cheat , it is because these wives will never leave
I have had three friends who were in 12 year relationships with married men who never left their wives always an excuse, these women range from vice president of engineering to director of engineering so they are not dummies but they made dumb personal decisions
At the end of the day we all someone who loves us for ourselves not someone but that takes search and a lot of frogs on the way till you find Prince Charming , good luck ladies